I kind of forgot about my blog for a while...it's been busy...there has certainly been a lot of things I could write about! But instead I have been talking a lot, thinking, etc instead but really I should write some stuff down, either here or in a journal. It's just not something that I really get motivated to do but I know I should. I guess a lot of people feel like that about exercise!
I am currently out of action exercise-wise as my back is causing me some acute pain although after seeing the physio yesterday, all the warning signs were there waaay back but I treated the symptoms rather than looking for the cause. I have been on this journey before with injuries and I always say "i'll learn from this" but it seems I don't. I'm sure this pattern is repeating elsewhere in my life. I KNOW it has in the past, for example with setting boundaries at work or with friends. I am going through a process of re-evaluation of many areas of my life and realising that I, and only I, am the one who can make things happen. I have to go out of my comfort zone and exert myself and my authority in order to this which is hard for me but I am doing it bit by bit and I'm very proud when I do it!
It's little things like saying No sometimes or not answering my work phone if I am in the middle of drafting an important email. More recently there have been some bigger examples such as deciding to end a friendship that has been troubling for me for a long time but that I was unsure how to manage. It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Maintenance of these changes is a whole nother level!
I expected/predicted that 2009 would be a big year for me, a tough year for me and a year of challenge and personal growth. It certainly is that so far and i'm imagining will continue. Luckily I have several carefully selected wise and wonderful friends for support (P, K, M and K) and I am very grateful :-)
I am learning so much from other people and their struggles right now. I am still hopeful that things will go the way I want, although I am certain the path there will be very different to the picture in my head!
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I forgot to add another moment I was proud of... I was on my lunch break at work with my food in hand and heading to a seat and a colleague approached me to ask me something work related. I did not know the answer without having to go back to my office and get out my schedule but I simply said " i don't know the answer, it's in my schedule though". THere was an awkward silence (where I normally would have said 'i'll go check for you) and then she said "go have your lunch, I can get someone else to find out". I was so happy that I overrode my desire to help and protected my valuable break time...yay for me!
Yes, that is totally a "yay for me!" moment!
I feel the same way you do Sally, I learn so much from watching my friends handle their challenges and I love it when they can support me through mine.
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