The last few days have been strange for me. I was away at a work conference which was awesome but I have had some time to think on the long drive there (5 hours each way) and it's really the first time I have sat still since my separation. Separation is something I have never been through seeing as I have been in a committed relationship since I was 19. Some days I feel fine and other times, something catches me off guard and feelings present themselves. It's somewhat challenging to plan for these situations! Today is one of those days. Sunshine helps. Exercise helps. I NEED to exercise. Not just exercise. I need to sweat and feel intensity, big time.
I have tried to maintain a positive attitude during this experience and that has helped....you know..fake it til you make it. Plus, it's easier to be positive than to get stuck in the dark headspace but it can only take you so far when you are going through something so significant and emotional.
I've done the whole "stay busy, stay positive" thing for the past 6 weeks. Now I need to feel it all, properly. I'm focusing inwardly and trying to just "be". I'm not sure I've ever done that before but I know I need to do it now.
Once my triathlon is done ( just over a week), the summer looks a little intimidating as it's a blank canvas. I am artistic though so I will just have to decide when and how I want to paint.
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2 comments:
Sally, I like your thinking about your 'blank canvas' summer - intimidating but with possibility. You express yourself so well! There is a lot of you in this post and the last one you did. Your heart is open and although it may hurt and feel raw, I can see more of you to love. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Kerri for your comforting words. I'm toying with the idea of making my blog public but I'm not sure what the purpose would be...
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